Exploring the Art of Relationship Building and Social Dynamics
Note #6
“Theres a reason we are drawn to gazing at the ocean. It is said the ocean provides a closer reflection of who we are than any mirror.” - Rick Rubin
This quote formed a thought - Who am I?
Most of who you are and how you act is observed through your social dynamics - I wanted to explore this👇
The Chameleon Effect in Social Interactions
When I think about my interactions with different people - be it friends, parents, or acquaintances - I realize that each person knows only a specific version of me. When we meet people, we break ourselves into parts and give people those parts. Some people get more parts of you than others, each persona holds a different part of yourself. This isn't about being inauthentic; rather, it's about adapting to different social situations. We all have multifaceted personalities, and we choose which aspects to reveal to whom.
The key lies in being conscious of these adaptations. It's crucial to maintain an understanding of your core self amidst these changes. The chameleon doesn’t lose its essence when it changes color; similarly, we don't lose our core selves when we present different facets of our personality. While it's natural to adjust our behavior and reveal different aspects of our personality to different people, losing sight of our 'home base' can lead to a crisis of identity. Some individuals become so adept at changing their masks that they start to lose track of their true self, leading to confusion and identity crises.
Conscious Adaptation vs. Losing Oneself
The art of relationship building hinges on this delicate balance between conscious adaptation and maintaining a strong sense of self. When I interact with close friends, certain traits and quirks that are uniquely 'me' come to the fore, which I might not reveal in a professional setting or with acquaintances. This is a strategic and conscious choice, not a deceptive maneuver. I'm fully aware of the different 'masks' I wear and the reasons behind them. This self-awareness helps me stay grounded, ensuring I don't lose sight of who I am amidst my varied roles. I don’t think this is unauthentic in anyway; changing colors is instinctive and necessary for survival. In our world, adapting our behavior is a strategic choice that helps in building relationships and navigating social settings.
At the end of the day, this selective sharing is a powerful tool in building and sustaining diverse relationships. By choosing which parts of ourselves to share, we create connections on different levels. With friends, the connection might be deep and comprehensive, while with colleagues or acquaintances, it might be more superficial but still meaningful in its own right. Each relationship holds value, contributing to the rich tapestry of our social world.
Understanding Friendship
Given that you give only certain parts of yourself to people, then what defines who your friends are? According to me, friends are the ones who know how we would act in various situations. For example, if we've just met and shared a coffee, you only know me in this context alone - you may only experience my polite and friendly side. But friends would know how we would act in any context. They have a unique insight into our various 'masks' and the reasons behind them. This depth of understanding is what sets friends apart from mere acquaintances. In many ways, friends serve as mirrors, reflecting back to us the essence of our true selves. They remind us of who we are at our core, especially in moments when we might lose sight of it ourselves. Friendship transcends the superficial layers of social interaction.
Quick reflect on how you act around others - I want to hear your thoughts!
How consistent do I feel my 'social self' is with my 'private self'?
How do I adapt my behavior in different social settings, such as with friends, family, or at work?
What aspects of my personality do I tend to emphasize or downplay depending on who I'm with?
Are there certain people or groups I feel more comfortable being my authentic self with? What is different about these interactions?