Reconnecting with my family after 10 years made me whole again

Today, I dropped off my older cousin sister and aunt at the airport. It was their last day in the US. For the past month and a half, my family, who I haven’t seen in 10 years, visited. To be honest, I had no idea what to expect when they told me they were coming. But never would I thought I would developed the most strongest bonds of my life. I have never have I felt this type of fulfillment before. I’ve never experienced bonds or relationships like this. It was all so new to me, and I didn’t even know I needed this. Only when it came to me did I realize how much I’ve always craved it. It felt like nothing else in the world mattered. That’s when I realized family always comes first. With the people you love, nothing else really matters. Little did I know that having extended family around also would strengthen the bond of my immediate family as well, it opened parts of us we never knew how to, bringing us close and understanding each other better.

The older sister bond I’ve been craving forever, I finally discovered it. I feel so inspired by my older cousin sister. I’ve never looked up to anyone like this before. It actually feels like I have an older sibling to look up to. I never had that in life, I was always playing the role of an older sibling. Now, it feels so nice to be the one taken care of, to have someone I can always go to, to have someone to learn from. She is incredible. I’ve never felt so understood before, and I’ve never developed such a deep bond with someone before. Her presence is pure comfort, a safe place. It’s so special. With friends, you can’t always talk about family-related things, or maybe they just wouldn’t completely understand. With family, you can talk about it all. These conversations healed the child in me that had been waiting to be healed. This is a bond I never want to let go of. Drop the cousin, she is my sister.

If anyone asks me what the highlight of 2024 was, I’d say it’s the time I spent with my family. I felt like a child again. My aunt goofing around with me, teaching me things, cooking for me, joking around with my older cousin brother, late night conversations with my sisters. But it wasn’t all so sweet, of course there was chaos, but we build it through it. In the moment we think “Ugh I can’t wait to get out”, but when we look back, it is the chaos that brings everyone together. There is comfort in that chaos. Everyone together under one roof again felt magical, I could freeze that moment forever.

The love I have for my family is something else. When I say I’d do anything for them, I mean it. There are very, very few people I’d say that for. But it’s ironic—I wish this could be my reality, where we’re always together, living life side by side. Why isn’t life like this? Why is there always that moment when we have to say, “Okay, it’s time to go back to reality”? Why do the best moments have to be temporary? I guess the saying is true: good things always come to an end.

For the first time in a long time, I got attached. I got emotional. It feels nice. I feel human again. But at the same time, its bitter. This is life. I’m so grateful to have my family. I am blessed. Not everyone has this kind of bond with their family. Truly, I’m blessed. I feel reborn, I am a new better and whole person.

In Telugu, there’s no word for goodbye. It’s always malli kaluvadham, which means we will meet again. Even though there’s a hole in my heart right now, that thought gives me comfort. I know I’ll see them again soon.