Volunteering brought out something in me that I never knew existed.

I wanted to share my experience volunteering this past weekend for the Inner Engineering program.

For those of you who don’t know, inner engineering is a kriya yoga program offered through the Isha Foundation. 

I am so glad I decided to do it. I had the opportunity to watch people grow and experience something new, and I was surprised to realize how much joy that brought me. I never felt like this before. It was like I was genuinely rooting for everyone in that room with a full heart, and I truly enjoyed what each person had to say when they spoke. I didn't catch myself judging even once. Previously, I was always judging everything around me, thinking, "Oh, that's so cringe," but this time, not a single ounce of that.

I started making more friends and connecting with people who are a bit older than me, maybe in their 30s and 40s, and it makes me happy to see the youthful and innocent energy they possess. It’s like I haven’t seen that in so long especially in people I meet my age. I found such a deep family-like connection with them; I truly felt that there is no age boundary when it comes to friendship. They are so fun to be around, their company, chats, and everything. I love having older friends; it honestly doesn’t feel like they are older, we just connect and vibe. The main reason I volunteered was because my mom was doing the program. I was so excited and wanted to be there alongside her. I also found immense happiness seeing my mom go through the program. I saw a light in her that I hadn't seen in so long. She was having so much fun, doing things like playing and running like she hadn’t done in ages. The surroundings really make a big difference. The people around you shape your experience. It had a big impact, and I found it so sweet. I felt so much love, a love I had never thought I could express before. It’s like it was oozing out of me. 

I got to experience Inner Engineering in a completely different way, learning many lessons that I might have missed the first time. It forced so much emotion out of me. I definitely think that after you do Shambhavi and then revisit these lessons and activities, you truly understand and connect with what is being taught. There were vibrations I felt that I had never felt before. I was much more aware of what I was experiencing, unlike the first time.

In the beginning of my sadhana journey, I was very selfish. My only concern was doing my sadhana, and I didn’t care about what else was happening around me. My sole focus was my sadhana. I thought I was embracing the idea of “My ability to respond to everything is limitless”,  but I was only embracing it within the limits of my personal bubble, not beyond it. Since my initiation last year, I definitely grew to a certain extent, but not as much as I wished for.

Then, during my trip to India in March, I visited a temple the Ramanathanswamy temple in Rameswaram and read on a board:

“He who has more of this unselfishness is more spiritual and nearer to Shiva. Whether he is learned or unlearned, he is nearer to Shiva than anybody else, whether he knows it or not. And if a man is selfish, no matter if he has visited all the temples, seen all the places of pilgrimage, and painted himself like a leopard, he will still be farthest away from Shiva.”

This really hit me like a truck. I physically felt a punch when I read it, and you know that means it applied to you. My obsession with seeking had made me a selfish person.

With this new awareness, I started to actively contribute more, and volunteering was a way to do that. When you give back selflessly, it really takes your experience to the next dimension. I started growing tenfold just by being selfless and truly embracing giving back. I want to dedicated a good portion of my lifetime volunteering and working towards causes I really care about. Spreading yoga is just one of them, there is more I always wished to do, and now I will. There is no higher feeling of inner gratification than giving back.

“Through selfless service, you will always be fruitful and find the fulfillment of your desires.” (Chapter 3, Verse 10) - Lord Krishna